Anxiety and depression whilst living your best life

I'm going to use this blog space on my website for more than event reviews .. it's going to be ree's views, in general so the OCCASIONAL piece will be about me personally.

Imma put this out there right now, before anyone gets this confused... I am a VERY private person, you probably won't know if I've got a boyfriend, what's actually going on in my life as it's happening or the major things that have made me the way I am today.. (unless I blow up and become Oprah, then I'll release a memoir).

After watching Arnold Jorge's reason for his break from the industry I was inspired to write this piece.

Watch his video here: (https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=HKrIti4894E)

So this is about Mental health, in particular depression and anxiety. If you know me or have had me on social media from as far back as even piczo & bebo days when I'm feeling SUPER low or really frustrated about something I would deactivate it and sometimes I would activate it a few weeks later or find the need to create a new page. 'New page who dissss?' Confession time: I've done this with twitter 5 times.... most people find it weird as hell and ask me where my page has gone and why I deactivated, naturally I'd be as vague as possible and say 'It's too mad, people are irritating' which I did believe at the time until I realised it was my anxiety.

Truth is it wasn't the people and it wasn't *too* mad... it was me. I couldn't handle the attention and expectations as well as the amount of insignificant information I was being fed subconsciously. It's A LOT to decipher and consume, so many people sharing their lives, that it can leave you feeling like... you're not doing enough which can make you feel so low and deflated... and have you asking yourself questions like 'they're my age, why can't I afford to get that too?' E.g. I remember when I was at uni and there were lots of girls on my twitter who randomly had Louis Vuitton bags and I'm not one for bouji brands because I live within my means (LOL) but I looked up the prices and I thought... wow... my student loan can't support me and get me this how do they have it!? And then the comparisons were birthed.. you start to compare yourself to people, from your lifestyles to Jah knows what else! And it's like quick sand, this is NOT healthy!!!!! It's a slippery slope and your brain warns you about this, so please take heed. You get caught up in assuming you should be financially 'all tha way together' when people are keeping up appearances, some/most are getting loans, maxing out credit cards, eating indomie daily because they've spent their student loan on 1 item, doing fraud, getting drug dealer links/boyfriends etc. To acquire these items and you kinda lose logic, you forget to process the fact that, you don't need this item but you've just put a lot of pressure on yourself to get the item, you start subconsciously obsessing over the fact that you wanna stay relevant for the fear of missing out so that's why you gotta get it and to be honest... you believe you want the item but deep down, you don't even want the item. That's anxiety.

Thankfully I didn't get caught up in trying to obtain an LV Bag because... 1) it's actually not my style (I'm a tom boy) and 2) I'm not a big 'follow fashion'. But that was a real example of the state of mind anxiety and depression can get you in. It's bitter sweet. I think social media is a great sharing tool, especially for those with a lot to share... but it really can get people caught up in doing the most to seem cool, trendy and funny for attention, likes and followers. I think Chuckie said it best on his HalfCast podcast with Poet guest starring JME, you find yourself being unhappy when nothing's actually wrong, because you're comparing yourself to the image people are putting out, which is just the surface and most likely NOT their reality.

(Dope podcast, subscribe to it and watch that episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLrpWOTIwtI )

My solution:

Take time out. Take a break... have a kit Kat (or maybe not if you're lactose intolerant like me 😂)

So... I learnt how to monitor and decrease my usage and said goodbye to my earlier ways of using social media I.e. Excessive use. Deactivating made me lose good memories, lose contact with childhood friends & people I'd met that didn't have any other means of contact with me, so I kicked that habit by turning off notifications, deleting the app instead of my page and I started to log on via web. I started to occupy myself with more things in my reality like more family time, more time with friends, events and with all this 'free time' I became happier and had no need to deactivate and get a new page. In turn the comparing stopped, I had a new found appreciation for everything around me, even that eeeeediat tree by my house that has made my eyes swell every summer for the last 13 years. I hope this helps at least one person.

Find your triggers. Trial and error. Protect your mental health. Make more time for yourself.

Remember a good level of pressure makes diamonds, a bad level of pressure can make you crumble.

Thanks for reading,

Ree 🔥